TL;DR: Most business negotiations fail because we argue over what people want (positions) instead of understanding why they want it (interests). The secret to a better outcome is to stop seeing clients as opponents and start seeing the problem as the opponent. By focusing on shared interests and building trust, you create solutions that benefit everyone, turning a simple deal into a long-term partnership.
We’ve all been there.
A client says they need a specific website feature, but it will take twice as long and cost more than the budget. A partner wants to lower the project fee, and you feel stuck. These moments feel like a battle of wills, a test of who is stronger.
This is a traditional negotiation. One side wins, the other loses. It can lead to bad deals and, even worse, broken relationships.
But there is a better way.
The best businesses and the strongest relationships aren’t built on winning arguments. They’re built on working together.
The Core Problem: Arguing Over Positions
Think about a simple argument. Two kids are fighting over an orange. They decide to compromise and each take half. One kid eats the fruit. The other throws their half away and just uses the peel.
They argued over a position (“I want the orange”) and got a bad result. If they had talked about their interests (one wanted the fruit, the other the peel for a cake), they both could have gotten 100% of what they wanted.
In business, a position is what a client says they want. An interest is why they want it.
Your client says, “I need a new website with a blog.” (Position) But their real interest might be, “I need a way to get more new sales leads and save my team time.” (Interest)
When you only focus on the position, you get stuck. You can’t budge without giving something up. But when you ask about the interest, the whole game opens up.
The Better Way: Focus on Interests
The most powerful question you can ask in any business conversation is: “Why?” or “What’s the real goal here?”
This is the core of our work at UNQA.agency.
Instead of just building the website the client asks for, we discover the real need. We might find that their interest is to improve their internal processes. The best solution might not be a blog, but an automated system that connects their email and CRM.
By moving from a simple request (the position) to the real need (the interest), you become a true partner. You’re not just a service provider; you’re a problem solver.
Build a Bridge, Not a Wall
Another key to this way of working is to separate the people from the problem.
Be kind to the person, but be tough on the problem. You can disagree on a budget or a timeline, but you never attack the person you’re working with. A healthy relationship makes every tough conversation easier.
Instead of arguing, try to invent options for mutual gain. This is the fun part. Brainstorm new ideas together. Don’t judge them, just get them all out on the table. When you work together, you find solutions that satisfy both your needs and the client’s.
Your Ultimate Power: The BATNA
So, how do you stay strong and protect your business when you know your worth?
You need to know your BATNA—your Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement.
Simply put, what will you do if the negotiation fails?
- If you’re negotiating with a difficult client, your BATNA might be to walk away and take on a different, more aligned project.
- If you’re asking for a raise, your BATNA might be to look for another job offer.
Knowing your BATNA gives you power. It’s not about being aggressive; it’s about being confident in your value. It means you don’t have to accept a bad deal just because you’re afraid to lose this one.
The Next Step
Negotiation is a part of life. It’s not about winning a fight or tricking someone. It’s about being real, vulnerable, and creative to find a solution that helps everyone grow.
This is the UNQA way. It’s about building trust, not just contracts. It’s about seeing people for their true intentions and creating something meaningful together.
Next time you’re in a tough conversation, remember this: don’t argue over the orange. Ask about the interests. You might just find a solution that helps everyone get exactly what they need.